Thursday night is bagpipe night. Usually after a couple of hours playing pipes and chatting with the lads at the bar I take the luxury of a Taxi home at 11pm or so.
Usually the ride is along the Thames Embankment, through the smart shopping area of Sloane Square, then through Fulham finally onto Putney Bridge. Of recent, my conversations with Cabbies has been near non-existant, sometimes banter about sport or the traffic or the weather...small polite talk, but recently I cant be bothered to muster up the energy.
Once a cabbie said "you are from Australia right? I should be in for a good tip then", I recalled the cheeky reply in the old Pizza Hut commercial - "be good to your mother" but I resisted the urge....
This last Thursday night though, I was again feeling quite lazy and didnt make the effort to chat to the cabbie. I was being quiet - he was being quiet - fine. Then a few bikers fired past in their Harleys and the Cabbies says "ohhh, I'd love one of those!". So I struck up the conversation.
We somehow got onto the topic of Community, or the lack of community in London. People being extremely cold, cutting themselves of the world. Withdrawing into themselves and basically looking after No.1. The Cabbie lamented the state of affairs. He called alot of people who got into his cab, hollow, empty, with long tired drawn out faces. People who earned hundreds of thousands of pounds, but were ultimately unhappy.
He said these people were looking forward to a better tomorrow, lamenting today, and remembering a fairytale yesterday, as if life was easier in the old days. The were not living for today. He said - these people will never be happy, they think they will, but they won't, so they continue to work themselves into the ground following a false promise. The ultimate job, the ultimate salary, the early retirement.
The idea of a Cold city, where people arent connected, even where eye contact is seldom depressed him. That people have built walls of cold steel around themselves, not allowing themselves to be vulnerable to others or to let them in. He said people should take a chance, drop their defences and try to interact with each other more. They would be happier, it would be a happier place.
This is true, but I put it to him that people had been hurt before, by others who were still cold, who refused to let them in - and ultimately made people bitter and resentful of their neighbours. The lack of trust, borne by the few bad apples and nutters made it easier and safer to withdraw yourself.
He agreed this was true - but also acknowledged that 90% of the people who wandered into his cab were perfectly fine. Where does this fear come from then? Is it healthy to not trust strangers, and then lose a possible friend? Have we all just been burnt too many times?
For me, I have become London cold, I see myself being rude, cutting off people and not looking them in the eye. I notice my abruptness, falseness and brevity with people. I have started to develope a hardened cynical shell here. The friendships I have tried to make have fallen into a black abyss...all the acquaintences I made last year in London had disappeared into thin air.
Its sad - but it must be this London effect. People dont need you - they don't want you and they cant be bothered putting in the effort to know you. Or they simply reject you.
Its the truth so far - apart from the people I have met at Bagpipes, who seem genuinely happy to have me onboard. I wonder how life will be elsewhere and back at home. I hear Sydney is just as cold. But as a local - it has never really effected me in the same way.
Life is interesting...
